Networking is probably one of the toughest and most important aspects of the job search — not to mention our careers and overall professional development. Unfortunately, it's also one of the most hated, misunderstood, and, consequently, poorly practiced areas of the job search, too, which is probably why many of us dread networking altogether. Still, like it or not, we simply must do it. It's too difficult to land a job, an internship, or a new client today without networking.

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	Elizabeth Freedman

However, there is good networking and bad networking. In fact, today you'll read many articles that declare networking passe, out-of-date, or yesterday's news because networking often seems artificial and unsophisticated by today's more savvy job seekers. Some of the images we all have of networking — where we call up someone we've never met to ask them for an informational interview or for coffee, for instance — seem forced and artificial.

Worse, networking gets a bad rap because people don't respect the time and effort of the person on the other end. Here's one scenario: A student contacts an alumna from his business school and speaks to her about her company, a place where he'd really like to work. The alumna spends 20 minutes of her time over the phone with the student and tells him that, unfortunately, there are no open positions right now at her firm. The student, dejected, hangs up, and eventually moves on to the next alumnus. In the meantime, he's never sent her so much as a thank you note. That's impolite, and it gives all of us networkers a bad rap.

Networking is also uncomfortable because we're approaching people we often don't know very well and are asking them for something without necessarily giving something in return. We think, "What could I possibly offer Mr. Manager at Company X? I'm just a poor business school student/unemployed job-seeker/obsessed Britney Spears fan/chocolalic." No matter how lowly on the totem pole you may feel you reside, you always, always have something to offer in exchange. Let's say you're a student from China — consider offering some unique news or information about how business is done in your country. Provide a link to an article of interest. Offer your own analysis of the company's recent acquisition. You're so smart, you'll think of something to provide, and the sooner you start to view networking as a two-way road, the easier it will start to feel.

Starting now, instead of networking, think of relationship-building — and your new goal is to have as many conversations with as many people as possible. That's it. Unlike some networking, which ends once you've gotten what you want from the relationship (i.e., a job), having conversations with as many people as possible will help you build real, genuine relationships. Think about it: If you were working at a company, would you automatically help someone get a job there that you hardly knew?

By building relationships with people, you help them get to know you and your unique qualities, and you get to know them. By understanding them in a better way, you'll learn more about their company, their job, and — who knows — you may also learn that you actually don't want a job with that company, after all.

When you build relationships to last, rather than from cold calls or meetings, you'll have a much greater chance of someone actually passing your resume along to the right people and of their really going to bat for you. And, quite frankly, by demonstrating your interest in someone else for the long haul, you also demonstrate that you're a nice person — something that goes a long way in today's world.

About the Author

Elizabeth Freedman, MBA, is the author of Work 101: Learning the Ropes of the Workplace without Hanging Yourself and The MBA Student's Job-Seeking Bible. She is also a 2005 finalist for College Speaker of the Year, awarded by the Association for the Promotion of Campus Activities. She runs a Boston-based communications and career development firm that helps corporations help their New Professionals look sharp, sound smart, and succeed on the job. Clients include Proctor & Gamble/The Gillette Company, PricewaterhouseCoopers, and The Thomson Corporation. For more information, please visit www.elizabethfreedman.com or email info@elizabethfreedman.com.

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